Day: June 9, 2011

Originally published December 27, 2006

  So, I was in a bar the other night, and the bartender was bemoaning how slow business was. So, I’m thinking maybe I can come up with a sure-fire way to increase their business, and I’m thinking something along the lines of a dancing bear, and the bartender says, she says, ‘maybe if I was dancing bare…’ Ummm… Well… SURE… Okay… That’ll work… Aye, and a proper saucy lass she was, this being a Scottish bar I was in… But until the community board undoes about 30 years of zoning cases to allow that sort of thing, we’ll have to stick with more conventional solutions… So I wrapped my head around the problem, and I think I have just such a solution. It involves fireworks, a live chicken, a weed-eater and some peach preserves… Hear me out… Advertisements