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Earliest Photograph Ever Found…

Chichen Itza – Yucatan, Mexico

AP – In a discovery described as one of the most baffling finds in archeological history, scientists today announced they had uncovered the first known example of photography, created by the Mayan civilization centuries before the technique was discovered elsewhere.

“Perhaps we should say centuries before the technique was re-discovered,” said Dr. Snoddly Thumpernickle, lead scientist at the Kato Institute, at a news conference hurriedly arranged to announce the find. Thumpernickle seemed obviously shaken by the news, and at times was at a loss for words.

“I mean… what can I say? The state of their painting, and art, at this time in their history was still of a primitive nature. And yet, here we find an actual photograph. That the photograph is of an astronomical nature is certainly in keeping with the accepted reason for many of the buildings to have been built in the first place.”

In reply to questions concerning the authenticity of the photo, or what the Mayans might have used as emulsifiers, in an age when chemistry was an unknown science to their culture, Dr. Thumpernickle simply shrugged.

“We don’t really know right now. It’s possible that we’ve stumbled upon the first evidence of a type of chemistry that wasn’t thought to have existed in this hemisphere. We’re conducting experiments to try and determine what method they used. But, quite frankly, we’re wandering around in the dark here. And we want to make sure, first and foremost, that whatever tests we conduct are non-destructive.”

One reporter asked if it was possible that a primitive form of Lightroom had possibly been used, as that program is known to create non-destructive edits of existing photos.

Dr. Thumpernickle did not reply to this question, nor to follow up questions concerning Photoshop and Aperture.

“I mean… well… the idea that we also found a crude form of a CMOS sensor, and several examples of DIGIC 6 processors… or even an early form of an LCD screen…”

Dr. Thumpernickle appeared to be quite upset, and could not finish his thought. He then mopped at his forehead, and abruptly left the dais, hastily assembled in the shadow of Chichen Itza’s most famous edifice.

The news conference then disintegrated into something remarkably like chaos.

The entire photographic industry has been thrown into an uproar by this announcement – with some hailing it as a major breakthrough in the developmental thought of the form, while others are claiming this discovery as proof that we are not alone.

Those who claimed that the photo was all the evidence they needed of a visitation from beyond were taken for a stroll into the jungle. Afterwards, they could not be reached for comment..


Image found here.



  1. That’s just what we need….more “breakthroughs in the developmental thought of the form”…..but. chiefly in regard to the present….and the future….not the past.


    • I would have surmised we needed a ‘major breakthrough in the developmental form of thought…’
      But that’s probably a bit too needlessly cynical, for such a fun-loving day…


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