Apparently, there’s a web site out there called Ashley Madison.
As I understand it, it’s the number one site on the internet for finding discreet partners with whom to have an adulterous tryst.
Not being now, nor having ever been married, I’m obviously not in their prime demographic.
Which is marketing gobbledegook for saying I don’t belong.
And that’s fine by me.
But I’m also assuming they wouldn’t say no to my money, were I to be so inclined.
“Poor old Uncle Theory… sitting over there in the corner.
Pretending to be married, just to hook up with desperate married women, desperately looking for something to give meaning to their desperately boring lives…
How desperate he must be!”
Let’s go the web site, to get the straight poop.
Here’s what it says:
Life is short. Have an affair.
There seems to be little doubt as to what that’s all about.
Apparently, the only thing we, as a society, are still afraid of, is adverse publicity.
The word discreet is anything but discreetly splashed across the entire site.
C’mon… have an affair.
Everyone’s doing it!
You’re card will charged by some innocuous vendor name (I’m guessing)…
Something like Mashley Addison… dot com.
(Is it possible to have an affair, if you’re not in a relationship to begin with?
Dictionary.com is unclear on this matter, but to my mind, the word ‘affair’ implies cheating on someone you’re already involved with.
But that’s just my mind.
You’re mind may vary.)
Discreet, discreet, discreet, discreet, discreet…
Who’s gonna know?
No one will ever find out!
Only they did…
The ding-dang site got hacked, just like evil-doer sites everywhere…
Like the IRS… and the US Government…
Now the names are out in the open.
(That whole “Sanctity of Marriage” spiel by those against the right of the LGBT community to marriage really cracks me up, right about now.)
But the thing is, it’s the hacking that seems to have everyone upset.
Not the actual act of adultery, but the fact that they got caught at it.
And now comes along a NY Times opinion piece about the whole mess.
Where two… well…
One of them is listed as a ‘Fellow’ somewhere.
As opposed to a ‘Guy’… I guess…
And the other one isn’t listed as much of anything.
Which would make him a ‘Chap’, or a ‘Bloke’.
And their number one concern is how a scandal of this magnitude will effect…
Wait for it…
While giving some obligatory lip-service to all the ruined marriages (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), they each expound – expertly, I’m quite sure – about how all of this will affect the overall stock markets/housing industry/legal industry/disposable income industry/disposable diaper industry.
They seem to fear that those caught up in all these shenanigans won’t have as much loose change to throw around, as if they hadn’t been caught.
Seems to me all those incomes just got all kinds of disposable.
I have no idea how Rupert and the gang over at Fox feel about all of this.
I would assume it’s all Obama’s fault.
Or Hilary’s (Benghazi!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Or maybe the metric system.
This is what’s become of society these days – that a scandal involving millions of people should be hashed over and over in public forums.
Not for the lapse of morals.
Not for the devastation it will likely cause in untold families.
But for how it can be used to further peoples own pet peeve agendas.
Political, economic and… well, whatever it is Fox News is supposed to represent.
There appears to be no place one can go, for a clear, rational discussion of issues of this sort.
I’m mostly just incredibly appalled, and saddened, at the blatant contradictions of our society.
If a nation exhibiting all the insane peccadilloes and gross indecencies of this nature – say, like us, for example – were to come to me and start pointing fingers and complaining about my human rights records and criminal justice systems and religious freedoms and women’s rights, etc., etc., ad naseum… I might just be terribly inclined to tell said nation just where they might want to investigate storing said accusations.
If you know what I mean by that…
But we never seem able to combine those two (or more) opposing sides of our society, when trying to figure out why it is the rest of the world hates us…
It’s simply a mystery… obviously born out of their hatred of our freedoms.
Cue Kate Smith…
Picture found here.