Humor
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On today’s date…

On today’s date in history we remember the first performance of The Stars and Stripes Forever, written by one John Phillip Sousa, (shown above) and not, as previously conjectured by a somewhat dubiously credentialed scholar, by a certain John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt (shown below)…

Ninja
Good ol’ John Jacob is possibly the greatest ninja of all time, because his eponymous theme song will sneak into your head before you know it and take up residence for the rest of your life and there’s nothing you can do about it it’s just going to sit in there singing and humming away until you lose what little marbles you ever had and you just go off running down the corridor/street/vast arctic wilderness area screaming your dang fool head off…

But I digress…

John Phillip Sousa wrote his little ditty some five months earlier in New York City, and performed it on todays date in 1897 in Philadelphia…
And they’ve been playing it ever since…

It’s true…
Don’t blame me…
It’s right there in the title…
And it just goes to show you should always be careful when you write something.
I mean, the Toe Fungus Tango Forever might indeed be a catchy little toe-tapper, and putting a whole new meaning to Dancing With the Stars… and lasting just simply forever…

But who needs that kind of pain?

♭♩ ♫ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt… ♩ ♫

Let’s see… what else is, has or will have happened on today’s date…?

Well, on this day the first group reading of Welsh poet Dylan Thomas’s radio play Under Milk Wood was staged…

You know… staged.
As in fake.
As in never happened…

Like the moon landing, the JFK assassination, and a specific example of actual congressional action on an issue of grave importance to the American people…

Never happened.

Anywho…
This alleged reading took place at the 92nd St. Y, in New York City, on today’s date in 1953, while Sousa was in his 56th year of performing The Stars and Stripes Forever…

You think it’s easy trying to keep a march marching along for that long?
The logistics alone of such an undertaking can be staggering.
Switching players in and out while in mid-march.
Days off. Sick days. Vacations…

The co-ordination of bathroom breaks alone has been known to fell marches of lesser will.

But I digress…

Thomas himself was a part of the reading, in which he wrote things like:
“There’s the clip clop of horses on the sunhoneyed cobbles of the humming streets, hammering of horse-shoes, a gobble quack and cackle, tomtit twitter from the bird-ounced boughs, braying ♭♩ ♫ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt… ♩ ♫”

You think it’s a coincidence that The Stars and Stripes Forever and John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt are in the exact same tempo…?
I should say NOT!
And I’m betting good ol’ DT was in on it, too…!

A mere 20 years later, as Sousa was beginning his 77th year of playing that damned march, Skylab was launched.
Which led to atomic annihilation, the rise of the machines and John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt’s leading of the resistance…

Skylab… Skynet…
It’s all the same.
They never happened.
And I expect Congress to get to the bottom of it all any day now.

And now we come to today.
May 14th, 2016.
Sousa is just about to begin his 119th year marching along down in Philly.
Although he’s looking a bit frayed around the edges about now…

Let’s face it.
119 years is a long time to go, without even a freshening up…
I’m betting that uniform could use a brushing.

I wonder how long his beard has grown.

Rip Van Sousa, that’s what the members of the band have been heard to affectionately refer to him as… mainly because the poor man died in mid-beat, back in 1932, six days short of notching another year of The Stars and Stripes Forever on the ol’ gun belt…
Members of the stage crew just shuffled him off to the side (near the clarinets), the assistant conductor jumped to the podium and nary a beat was misplaced…

Attendance at the performance has been getting a little sparse these days.
Forever turns out to be a pretty ding-dang long time to deal with.

John Jacob

Yeah, yeah… I know, I know.
The above example is in a different key from my feeble earlier attempts at conveying the song.

I just can’t hit those high notes like I used to.

Actually (for those of you who might be wondering), I, myself, have never heard the song associated with our beloved Mr. Schmidt…
I’ve only heard those brief bars sung during the TV commercials, many years ago, that the producers of “classic children’s songs” albums would play, as they crammed as many 3 second sound bits as they could into a standard commercial time frame.

I think it was all a conspiracy by the Pillsbury Doughboy, to get those songs into the hands of children, who then used them to drive their parents stark-raving-bonkers, so that they (the children) could get all the cookies they wanted right before dinner time.

And yet – somehow – I spelled John Jacob’s name correctly, straight out of the box…

Man…
That ninja’s good!

I don’t know about you, but I find that thought rather unsettling…
Scary, even…

And don’t you think for one minute our Congress isn’t all over that fact!!!

 

 

 

Top image found here.
Ninja image found here.
Score image found here.

 

 

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This entry was posted in: Humor

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Just some guy, with an opinion or two… nothing special… nothing to see, here… move along...

2 Comments

  1. And here I thought Arthur Fiddler…I mean Fiedler, wrote that little march. The best way to annoy someone with John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, as I recall, (besides resurrecting it on a blog post so that I now have it for an ear worm for the rest of today) is to sing it progressively softer with each repeat until finally you arrive at a pianissi..issi…issimo , barely a wisp of a whisper… up to the last bar where you BLAST out Da Da Da dada dada Dah!

    Liked by 1 person

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