All posts tagged: Homage to Douglas Adams

Fox News is at it again…

Well, you certainly have to give them an ‘A’ for persistence, even if they really should be expelled from humanity for all time for lack of decency, fair play and credibility… Fox News’ nit-twit account was ‘apparently hacked’, resulting in six messages sent out to more than 36,000 followers, saying that Barack Obama had been assassinated in Iowa, even going so far in one twit as to name the restaurant where it happened. Fox has apologized for ‘any distress the false Tweets (twits) may have created.” Never mind the fact that the President’s schedule had been announced for days as hosting military families at a cookout on the South Lawn, followed by fireworks… It’s really quite the toss-up as to which part of this story is the more disturbing; the fact that Twitter can be hacked, the fact that Fox automatically screams anytime someone else claims to be hacked while expecting everyone to just accept their version when it happens to them, or the fact that Fox News has over 36,000 nit-twit followers…

Originally posted on April 11, 2008

Wow… It’s amazing what you can learn by surfing around the net… For instance, did you know that the closest living relatives of the aardvark are the elephant shrews, along with sirenians, hyraxes, tenrecs and elephants? Nor is the aardvark closely related to the South American Anteater, despite a superficial likeness… And it seems that on the old Pink Panther cartoons they actually did use an aardvark, despite the animal being nocturnal… Although the snout was a bit misrepresented… Now, I couldn’t care less about aardvarks as much as the next guy, but I thought I needed to start with a somewhat snappier topic than the one I DO wish to talk about, and I didn’t want to lose you in the very first paragraph… So for those of you who got here via a Google search for “aardvarks” (which is how I got the above information, by the way… except for the Pink Panther bit…), I apologize… It’s okay if I lose you in the second paragraph, though… I will have still earned my …

Originally published December 27, 2006

  So, I was in a bar the other night, and the bartender was bemoaning how slow business was. So, I’m thinking maybe I can come up with a sure-fire way to increase their business, and I’m thinking something along the lines of a dancing bear, and the bartender says, she says, ‘maybe if I was dancing bare…’ Ummm… Well… SURE… Okay… That’ll work… Aye, and a proper saucy lass she was, this being a Scottish bar I was in… But until the community board undoes about 30 years of zoning cases to allow that sort of thing, we’ll have to stick with more conventional solutions… So I wrapped my head around the problem, and I think I have just such a solution. It involves fireworks, a live chicken, a weed-eater and some peach preserves… Hear me out…